The Next Day

“To be in presence rather than results. This is a practice that I can work and play with.”

I wrote these words a year ago today, and I have been “practicing” presence for a year now with generally positive results. At the time, I was speaking/writing of incorporating a life practice rather than forming a resolution as one is want to do at the new year or any new critical venture. Not giving in to worry or fear is difficult, especially at first, however it works with mindfulness i.e. — not getting ahead of yourself. It has served me well on two occasions, the most recent one yesterday, when I went to a cardiologist for a stress test. I had chest pains (think angina) a week earlier. I managed to deal with the episode as well as the in-between time waiting for the test — to be able to compartmentalize the worry and thus walk the dog, paint something exciting (for me), visit with out-of-town friends and family and show up at the doctor’s office ready for any outcome. I did not deny the possibility of test results showing damage and a vastly different course of action, but neither did I dwell on it, or let it ruin time spent enjoying or working through life’s palette. As a visual artist, I have come to appreciate just how much and just how little control I have over the eventual outcome of the end result on the canvas, so I may as well go for whatever I’m doing with verve and nerve. As it turns out, the results are most often not worth the worry if you pay attention as needed. Oh, and the doctor said I have a strong heart, but I already knew that.

the day after
the super moon leaves
a lavender sky

© ag ~ 2018

4 thoughts on “The Next Day

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