January 17…

I just searched an old, old love-interest on-line and discovered to my surprise that he has passed. He was my first true love for eight years in grammar school, and ours was a torrid love affair of cut-out valentines and stolen kisses from at least first to fourth grade. He was my first real crush – that point where the heart knows no bounds. I don’t think he ever realized how totally smitten and breathless I felt in his presence (especially at that tender age). And he was my first heartbreak (sigh) – when in seventh grade he fell for an older woman – “a cougar” – in today’s lingo. I still remember her name, Stephanie, the hussy in eighth grade. My how times have changed and not (that for another post). We never kept in touch after he moved and went on to a different high school and life. Funny how things turn out – unbeknownst to me, he became a fairly prolific songwriter and poet. I would have loved to share poetry and maybe a laugh or two about the old days. You just never know… RIP Artie C.

the finality of goodbye beyond belief

ag ~ 2015

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January 16…

I had a crappy day today. Crappy is a good word for it. After an emotional upset early on, I later lost my eyeglasses and a favorite scarf. The only saving grace was meeting a therapy dog named Redon. He is an eight year old golden retriever who is in the midst of a career change. From seeing-eye to therapy. I felt better knowing that if a dog, equivalent to the age of 56 can change his habits, so can I. Redon sniffed me and wagged his tail, no doubt recognizing my own canine love on my faded jeans.

sometimes letting go of the small stuff is the big stuff

ag ~ 2015

Until The Wind Rattles…

I fetch a leaf

off the forest floor,

morning sun warms

slanting earthen rock

the silence of stone

and heartbeats of prayer.

 

In a cloud

tendered on a breeze

your ashes sail

and come to rest

between canyon walls

and periwinkle sky.

 

Brushing our cheeks

along the way

with soft caresses

landing on pinyon and sage

the earth and stars

welcome you home.

ag  ~ for Robin

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When It’s Gone… It’s Gone.

When It’s Gone – It’s Gone.

This terse piece of wisdom
is inscribed on the top of a tea tin.
It therein refers to the last cup
of a limited edition.

I felt sad reading it.
I had just come upon a photo
of my friend and me smiling
at the camera and the world.
Now she’s gone.

I took the tea from her home
on my last visit to say goodbye.
It was a pomegranate blend 
however, I just read the tin top for the first time.

It is exactly one year since her memorial.
The year of firsts without her 
has now come and gone.
She is once again 
sending me a clear message.

Like the white flickering tail of a doe
bounding off into the brush
When it’s gone – it’s gone.
AHO*

*A closing or blessing from the Native American Tradition that can be translated as “and so it is.” 

another goodbye on the horizon coyotes howl

ag ~ 10/13/13

Ephemeral

pattering rain
the last of your saved letters
return to me

insects on their way to work lilacs

letting go
the dandelion
and me

bleeding heart
first spring
without you

despite your absence
forget-me-not

periwinkle
just being
blue

for Robin

ag ~ May 2013

NaHaiWriMo #7

Grief

leaf fall
leftover dog treats still
in all my pockets

beached whale
the knowingness that is
simply nature

grief can we really know love without it

winds breath
on each wingbeat the grace
of letting go*

*published Modern Haiku 43.1 winter 2012